Adult brit milah: questions and answers

According to halacha, you are Jewish if your mother is Jewish, or if you converted according to halacha. A rabbi confirms it from family records and what relatives know. If you’re not sure, start with a private conversation. More on a Jewish mother.

Yes, according to halacha, even if you weren’t raised Jewish and were never circumcised. What usually needs confirming is your mother’s own status, and a rabbi can help with that.

Halacha passes Jewish status through the mother, so these cases are handled differently and a rabbi or beis din decides the path. Often it is a conversion, which for a man includes a brit. More on a Jewish father.

No. A test can suggest Jewish ancestry and lead you to relatives and records, but it is not accepted as proof of Jewish status on its own. More on DNA tests.

There is no need to wait until you feel ready in every other way. Many men find that the brit is where their return begins. A private conversation is a good first step.

A symbolic drop of blood taken where a circumcision has already been done, but not as a brit. It brings the circumcision under the covenant. It is also written hatafat dam brit. More on hatafas dam bris.

If you were circumcised without a brit, for example in a hospital, a rabbi may advise hatafas dam bris. If an earlier circumcision was incomplete, a correction may be needed. Quite often nothing needs to be done. A rabbi decides, and I explain everything before anything is arranged.

Many men aren’t sure, especially if they were born abroad or their parents never spoke about it. Tell me what you know, even if it is very little; often that is enough to tell you what is likely, and if needed a short private consultation gives a clear answer. More on not sure your brit was done properly.

Because memories fade. A certificate, or simply your Hebrew name written down, can show decades later that a brit was done. I once met a man whose mother was Jewish and who had a brit at eight, but he no longer remembers his Hebrew name and has nothing on paper. Keep your records, photograph them, and give copies to your children.

No. Avraham himself had his bris at the age of 99. Men of every age have a bris today, under local anesthesia and with complete privacy.

It is done under local anesthesia, so the area is numb while it is performed. Pain management for the days afterwards is planned before we begin. A hatafas dam bris is a brief procedure.

Most men are back to desk work within a few days, with a longer period before strenuous activity. You leave with written aftercare instructions and my own cell number. More on recovery.

I will: Rabbi Shlome Ekstein, a certified mohel. I learned the profession from my father, and I was trained and certified by Rabbi Michael Rovinsky. More on my training and experience.

I call you back personally, usually within one to two days, and we talk it through. If there is a question of Jewish status, it goes to a rabbi or beis din first. If you decide to go ahead, I go through your medical history with you, and only then do we choose a date.

In my office in Monroe, New York, or at a place we arrange together. It is always done during the day, and we choose a date that suits your schedule.

The usual fee is $1,800–$2,000. If cost is a real obstacle, tell me when we speak. Nobody is turned away over money, and where it is right, I can arrange a sponsor.

Yes. With your permission I coordinate with them directly, and I follow their instructions on what is required.

I travel across the United States and internationally. Tell me where you are and we will find something that works.

Yes. Our conversations are confidential and your forms are read only by me. If a rabbi or beis din needs to look at your family background, I ask you first. More on privacy.

No. If you prefer to keep it private, nobody else needs to know. If you would rather celebrate with family and friends, we can do that too.